


I'm calling you "buddy" to convince myself I'm totally not in love with you

by Rauchendes_GNU



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Angels are Dicks (Supernatural), Bisexual Dean Winchester, Break Up, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Coming Out, Dean Winchester Has a Sexuality Crisis, Demon!Dean, Destiel - Freeform, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Fluff, Ghosts, H. P. Lovecraft - Freeform, Holding Hands, Hurt Castiel, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Movie Night, Not Beta Read, Or Is It?, POV Castiel (Supernatural), POV Dean Winchester, POV Sam Winchester, Sam Winchester is the best little brother in the world, Trust, Unrequited Love, Worried Dean Winchester, Worried Sam Winchester, oneshots, prompt list
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:26:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27454216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rauchendes_GNU/pseuds/Rauchendes_GNU
Summary: Nothing more. Dean doesn’t enjoy Castiel stroking through his now almost dry hair. He really doesn’t. He also doesn’t think about what it would be like if Cas would do that more often. On movie nights. In bed. At the kitchen table just to annoy Sam. He must smile at that.Collection of oneshots based on dialogue prompts. Destiel.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	1. "We could get arrested for this."

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there,
> 
> this is me trying to write cute (and sometimes not so cute) short fics about Destiel. Can be anywhere and anything, firsts or established relationships, basically anything that my muse throws violently at me at most inappropriate times.  
> Every single fic is based on a dialogue prompt from a list by hdnprplflwrs on instagram but if there's any ideas or suggestions hit me, I'd be pleased. Also, check the tags as I will try to update them with every new chapter.
> 
> That's it, enjoy reading!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We could get arrested for this, you know?”  
>  Castiel’s voice is deep, gravelly and it’s totally not sending shivers down Dean’s spine as he’s eyeing the wall he’s about to climb over.  
> 

“We could get arrested for this, you know?”  
Castiel’s voice is deep, gravelly and it’s totally not sending shivers down Dean’s spine as he’s eyeing the wall he’s about to climb over.  
“You’re wrong there,” he replies and lets his hand run over the rough texture of the bricks. It’s a high wall, not something that he could easily climb.  
“Breaking and Entering is illegal, Dean.”  
Dean sighs deeply.  
“I know, Cas, but I’m the only one who’s going to be arrested.”  
“Why is that?” Castiel asks.  
He finally turns around to face the dark haired, handsome (in a very straight way) and confused man. Is Castiel really that naive?  
“Because your family bribes the police and my family has a man in jail already. Are you ready to jump over that thing?”  
Dean points at the wall behind him. Castiel shrugs, a gesture Dean is still not used to see on him.  
“Okay, Your Majesty, get your sweet ass over there.”  
“I’m not a member of the Royal family, Dean, that is not the title I am wearing.”  
Castiel tilts his head in this adorable way he always does when he’s confused. Dean chuckles.  
“It’s a … uh.. just forget it and climb onto the wall.”  
“You are not going to let me talk you out of this, are you?”  
“Nope,” Dean replies and shows his best friend a toothy grin. Castiel just turns around and starts climbing the wall with Dean making sure he won‘t fall. It’s always been like that. Castiel doesn’t care that Dean is only the lad’s adopted son and Dean doesn’t treat Castiel like the snob he is. Really, Dean can’t stand the way Castiel’s brothers and sisters want to chase him through the house, boy do this, lad get that. The way Michael only looks at him when he’s forced to and how Raphael treats him like an inferior being makes him want to puke on their expensive Persian carpet.

Castiel reaches the other side and Dean can hear a quiet curse.  
“Dude, I hope you don’t cry about your clothes because they’re about to get a lot dirtier,” he teases his friend and climbs the brick wall himself.  
“Dean, I do not cry about my clothes. I have been surprised by the branch of a tree on this side.”  
“Relax, Cas, I’m just making fun of you,” Dean says and jumps onto the ground next to Castiel.  
“Now, let’s see if there’s actually a ghost here.”  
Dean can’t keep the excitement from his voice. He has always heard stories about ghosts and vampires when he was little. Back when his mom had still been alive. It’s only natural that he would want to try and find one.  
“You do know that they are just fairytales.”  
“Geez, you really know how to destroy a man’s dreams.”  
Dean shakes his head and heads toward a dark hole in the ruin that has once been a mansion. He tries to ignore that unpleasant feeling that’s gnawing in his gut and steps over the wooden half-rotted threshold.  
Nothing happens.  
Castiel follows him, albeit reluctantly. They walk through the ruins, dodging debris and bird’s dirt. It is really dark inside, Dean can’t see a thing.  
“Have you heard that?” Castiel suddenly asks. Dean stops and listens. It’s quiet.  
“You’re not gonna chicken out here, are you?” he asks mockingly.  
“Of course not.”  
Then they are quiet again. The only sounds that can be heard are the cars from the highway. Dean takes a look at the partly intact desk. There’s rotten paper and the stinking corpse of a mouse but beneath that…  
“Cas, look at this.”  
He can hear Castiel approach him and shows his friend the book. It’s really old, the leather dry and cracked. The pages can’t really be read by night but there are signs and characters Dean has never seen before. Castiel doesn’t seem to recognize them either.  
“This does look interesting. Does it say who it belonged to?” he asks Dean. The man just shrugs.  
“No idea.”  
They flip through the book, careful not to break the pages, until they reach the front.  
“Dude, can you read that? I’ve never learned fancy-font.”  
Castiel glares at him before taking a closer look.  
“I think it says H. P. Lovecraft.”  
And that’s the moment all Hell breaks loose.

“Dude, run!” Dean shouts, trying to be louder than the supernatural storm inside. Castiel is thrown through the room and flies against a wall. Dean thinks he shouts his friend’s name but maybe he just imagines that because he can’t hear himself. Castiel stirs and sits up carefully. The storm moves pages around, howling and freezing. Dean wishes he has a jacket right now. There’s a figure in the middle of the room, pale and not entirely clear and a screeching sound in Dean’s head. He grabs Castiel by the trench coat and both of them run for their lives.

Dean and Castiel climb the wall in no time and soon they are on the other side, safe. Both men are panting and Dean can’t bite back the laughter that’s trying to escape his throat.  
“Dude, that was awesome!”  
“I am questioning your sense of awe,” Castiel replied between pants, still trying to catch his breath.  
“Just saying, man, I’d like to do that again.”  
Castiel closes his eyes as if to pray for divine help but Dean knows he’ll be there. Castiel always is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for now. Next prompt is "W-what happened?"
> 
> Leave a comment or kudos (I'd love to hear your opinion so I can improve) and seeya next time.


	2. "W-what happened?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Dean, check your phone, goddammit! It’s Cas. He’s…” He paused before saying: “Just call me.”

Dean wasn’t answering the phone. Sam was getting more nervous with every ring, silently begging for his brother to pick up the damn thing. This was the third time he called.  
“This is Dean’s other, other phone. You know what to do.”  
Sam sighed and left yet another voicemail.  
“Dean, check your phone, goddammit! It’s Cas. He’s…” He paused before saying: “Just call me.”  
He flipped his cell shut and threw it across the room. It landed on his bed and created a little dent in the otherwise neatly organized bedsheets. It was another crappy motel they were staying in but Sam made an effort every morning to make sure his bed looked okay.

The other bed had been occupied by Dean until he received a call and drove off with the Impala, leaving Sam to deal with the witch himself. He’d managed with a little help from Cas. Speaking of Cas… Sam brushed some strands of hair out of his face and picked up his phone before returning to the hospital.

When Castiel turned up on his door step to offer his help Sam hadn’t said no. Killing a witch was not easy and now that he didn’t have Dean as his partner even more so. What Sam didn’t know was the fact that Cas was low on angel juice.

Sam entered the hospital and was hit by the stinging smell of desinfectants. He remembered the way to Cas’ surgery. The corridors were white and the light was almost blinding as he hurried through the building. He hated hospitals. Not as much as Dean did but still.

He found the room and sat down on one of the plastic chairs in front of it, waiting. After the nurses had taken Cas to surgery the treating doctor had told him to wait. Sam had complied and gone to their motel to get some stuff he could need. He didn’t plan to stay away for long, even if that meant that he had to sit on this uncomfortable chair for hours. As long as Dean wasn’t here and Cas wasn’t out of the woods it was the least he could do.

The hours were creeping by and Sam slowly lost count of how long he already sat there and waited, hoped. He’d called Dean two more times only to reach the voicemail again. He really hoped Dean had a good reason to not answer him. Like, killing a nest of vampires and not being killed in return.

There was one moment were peeps could be heard inside of the room and nurses came running, filling the air with a frantic feeling, like electricity almost. Sam stood and tried to ignore the fear grabbing him with cold hands.  
“Please, sit down, sir, it’s under our control.”  
He hadn’t even realized that he’d moved. The nurse was a petite woman with a surprisingly strong grip as she held him back.  
“Your friend will be fine.”  
The beeping sounds were gone and the tension slowly left the room and the corridor. Sam followed the nurse’s order and sat down.  
“What’s going on?”  
She sighed.  
“Your friend is a difficult case. We had to reanimate him. But I assure you that most of his injuries are already treated. We should be almost done by now.”  
Sam nodded and hid his face in his palms. He suddenly felt a warm hand on his shoulder.  
“I don’t mean to intrude, but you look terrible. Is there anything I can do for you?”  
The nurse smiled at him, worry lines distorting her otherwise pretty face.  
“Uh… no, but thanks,” Sam replied. “Although, could you tell me where I can get a cup of caffeine?”

The coffee was thin and hot and tasted burnt but Sam drank it anyway. After another hour they pushed Cas out of surgery and into one of the adjacent rooms. Sam followed and sat down next to the bed. He listened to the doctors talking about the injuries, the treatment and how long Castiel had to stay in hospital. He nodded and thanked them politely before they headed off to treat other patients.  
Sam shot a glance at Castiel. He was pale and still unconscious. Cuts and bruises were marring his face and although his body was covered by the blanket Sam was sure that the wounds wouldn’t stop there.  
He sent a text to Dean saying Cas was out of surgery and waited.

He must’ve dozed off because Sam was woken by the sound of a door that was opened with great force while the person tried to keep quiet. Sam stretched and opened his eyes to see who the intruder was.  
Dean was standing in the middle of the room, his gaze fixed on the man who seemed to disappear in the hospital bed. He looked a little lost. He had come directly from the hunt as his shoes were dirty and there was blood on the collar of his shirt. At least he’d made an effort to look unsuspicious.  
“W-what happened?”  
Sam snapped out of his thoughts when he realized Dean’s voice was wavering.  
“A witch cursed him. We got here in time, they had to reanimate him during surgery. You wouldn’t answer your phone.”  
“I had it in the car ‘cuz of the vampires. How could the curse affect him?”  
Dean’s eyes hadn’t left Castiel’s face for one moment. Sam sighed.  
“He didn’t tell me that his angel mojo was a little low. Otherwise I wouldn’t have let him join me.”  
Dean didn’t answer. He stood in the room and although he wasn’t a small person he seemed to shrink with every second that ticked away. The air seemed to become thick. Sam cleared his throat before saying: “I, uh, give you some time, I guess...”  
Under different circumstances Dean would’ve told him to stop talking bullshit, that he didn’t need time with anyone, but the hunter stayed silent, still without having moved. That told Sam how much Dean was scared for Cas. He got up and left the room.

Dean stared at the person who occupied the bed. Cas had never looked so broken.  
“I’m sorry, man.” He should’ve been there instead of heading out to kill some vampires. He should’ve told Garth to find another hunter to help him. He should’ve been there for Cas, protected him.  
Dean approached the chair Sam had left and sat down pinching the bridge of his nose. He felt a bad migraine incoming and tried to ignore the pain behind his eyes and the bright lights coming from the ceiling of the room.  
“You stupid sonofabitch. You could’ve just told Sam, ya know? There’s nothing wrong with not being full on angel mojo.”  
The silence answered him. Dean sighed and peered at the clipboard whose paper announced the angel’s injuries. Cuts, bruises, broken bones, a light concussion, bloodloss. Nothing fatal, not even for a human.  
Dean sat next to Castiel’s sleeping form for what felt like hours. He felt himself slowly dozing off when he fought he’d seen something in the bed stir.  
“Cas?” He hated how weak his voice sounded.  
“Cas, you up?”  
There was a sleepy groan and then Castiel’s eyelids fluttered until his eyes opened and Dean was captured by their bright blue, a little darker than usual from sleep.  
“Dean?”  
His voice is even rougher when he has drugs in his system, Dean thought.  
“How’re ya feeling?” Dean asked without trying to hide his worry.  
Castiel’s lips twitched.  
“Like I’ve been cursed by a witch.”  
“Don’t ever do that again!”  
Castiel dropped his gaze, his face blushing with shame. Dean bit his lip in frustration while fighting with himself. How could he convince Cas that he wasn’t mad, just worried? In times like these he regretted not knowing how to express his feelings. Oh, fuck it, Dean thought and grabbed Castiel’s hand.  
“It’s just, Sam and I were worried sick. I can’t lose you, buddy.”  
Castiel smiled at that, unconsciously curling his fingers around Dean’s calloused hand.  
“I didn’t want to worry you, Dean.”  
“Well, be careful next time. And tell Sam when your batteries aren’t full.”  
“I will remember that.”  
Dean nodded fiercely. “Good.”

When Sam came back into the room he smiled to himself at the joined hands that Dean tried to hide from him but being the good little brother he was he didn’t say anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I'm happy to receive feedback and if you find any mistakes just tell me, I'd like to improve my English.  
> Next up is "Come here."
> 
> Seeya


	3. "Come here."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Castiel still hadn’t moved after Dean had changed into his pajamas his worry started to eat at him almost painfully.  
>  “Cas?”  
> Finally, the angel turned around. His eyes were red-rimmed and for a second Dean thought Cas had cried but there were no trails of tears on the cheeks and he otherwise didn’t look like he had cried either.

Castiel hadn’t been meeting with any angels since… Dean didn’t even know when Cas had last met any of his brothers and sisters. That wasn’t a problem in particular. No, the problem was that Castiel began to miss them. Not all of them, from what Dean could tell, but some. So when Cas asked if Dean could accompany him to a meeting of some of his old friends the hunter agreed. There was only one thing that was bugging him.  
“Cas, why do you want me to come with?” That question had been floating around in his head for over a day now.  
“If you do not wish to…,” Cas started but Dean interrupted him instantly.  
“Nonono, that’s not what I’m saying. I was just wondering why you’d want me with you?”  
A warm smile split the angel’s face.  
“Because I enjoy your company. And because I feel safe when I’m with you.”  
“You’re afraid.”  
Castiel averted his eyes, ashamed. Dean rushed to his side, invading Cas’ personal space when he gently grabbed the other man’s chin.  
“It’s okay, Cas. I don’t judge you.”  
“I’m sorry, Dean. Many of the angels stil haven’t accepted me as one of them after what I’ve done.”  
“Yeah, sure, but that was ages ago! You’ve saved those douchebags since then, like what, four times?”  
“That’s not what it’s about.”  
Dean closed his eyes and shook his head.  
“Whatever. You want me to come with, I’m coming with.”  
He gave his boyfriend a peck on the lips before grabbing an angel blade and his jacket.

“See, it hasn’t been that bad. I haven’t killed anyone of them.”  
Dean chuckled and looked at Castiel. He was quieter than usual, seemed absent. The hunter gently squeezed Cas’ knee.  
“Hey, Babe, you okay?”  
Castiel turned to look at Dean’s hand, then Dean himself who turned his eyes back on the road.  
“Yes. But I apprechiate your concern.”  
Dean hummed in content when a hand grabbed his and intertwined their fingers. He still wasn’t convinced but he let it slip for Cas. If the angel didn’t want to talk about it Dean wouldn’t force him to.

“Cas? Are you fine in there? You’ve been showering for, like, hours, dude!”  
Dean rubbed his eyes and tried not to imagine how Castiel would look like in the shower. Wet. Naked. He shook his head as if that would help losing those images. He heard a muffled response and decided his angel was okay before he headed to the kitchen in search of a beer.

He didn’t find a beer, though, just his moose of a brother.  
“Hiya, Sammy, what’s up?”  
Sam just shrugged at his nickname before saying: “I don’t know. How’s Cas?”  
“You noticed he’s off, too, right? It’s not just me.”  
Sam laughed. “No, it’s not you. Something upset him. Was there anyone insulting Cas?”  
“At the angel family meeting?”  
Sam shrugged. Dean rubbed his chin.  
“Lemme think. Nah, there were only the normal sneers and insults, but nothing Cas hasn’t dealt with before. Nothing of that could’ve affected him like that.”  
Dean sighed and ran his hand through his hair.  
“I’m worried about him, Sam. I wanna help him but I don’t know how.”  
He tried not to cringe at his own chick-flickiness. Sam gave him a compassionate smile.  
“Why don’t you ask him?”  
“He said he’s fine.”  
Sam scoffed.  
“If I had a nickel every time you say you’re fine ‘though you’re not...”  
“Oh, shuddup!”  
“Just saying, jerk.”  
“Bitch.”  
They sat together in mutual silence before Sam said: “Talk to him, Dean. Show him you care about him and he’ll open up.”  
“You sure?”  
Sam nodded.

Dean entered his and Cas‘ bedroom to find his boyfriend standing in front of the hunter’s knife collection, right next to the wall with the guns. They were sparkling and shining, reflecting the light from the ceiling lamp. Castiel wasn’t wearing his trench coat, a habit that had it’s origins in Dean’s remark that if the angel was in an almost domestic relationship (they had a home now, after all) he’d have to lose that damn thing from time to time. He’d reluctantly agreed. Plus, Castiel did look hot only in slacks and a white shirt.

Dean couldn’t make out Castiel’s expression but his shoulders were slumped and his head was hanging low. He didn’t react when Dean closed the door.  
“Hey, Cas, how are you?” Dean adressed the back of Castiel. The bunch of dark hair that was visible behind the back and shoulders wasn’t moving. Dean supressed a sigh and started to get rid of his clothes. It was late at night and he’d be going to sleep, grumpy boyfriend or not.  
When Castiel still hadn’t moved after Dean had changed into his pajamas his worry started to eat at him almost painfully.  
“Cas?”  
Finally, the angel turned around. His eyes were red-rimmed and for a second Dean thought Cas had cried but there were no trails of tears on the cheeks and he otherwise didn’t look like he had cried either.  
“Dean, why do you think I’m worthy of your love?”  
Dean was rendered speechless. There was a sadness in Castiel’s eyes that he had rarely seen before. He took a closer look, almost drowning in those big, bright blue eyes. No, that’s not sadness, he corrected himself, that’s shame and self-loathing. This time, Dean sighed deeply.  
“Come here.”  
Hesitantly, Castiel walked over. Dean grabbed his hand, pulling him closer and into an awkward hug as Dean was so much smaller than Cas while sitting on the bed. Castiel tensed under Dean’s embrace before relaxing into the hunter’s arms.  
“Why would you think you’re not worthy, Cas?” Dean wispered into his shirt.  
“It’s nothing,” Castiel replied curtly.  
“No, it’s not.”  
Dean leaned back to look into Cas’ eyes.  
“It’s not nothing because it’s bothering you.”  
Castel sighed and closed his eyes for a second before opening them again. He didn’t look at Dean when he started talking.  
“Angel’s wings are as white as a blanket of untouched snow in deep winter. They are majestic and powerful, radiating strength and purity.”

“When I grabbed you tight and raised you from perdition I almost didn’t survive. Hellfire caught my wings, burnt my feathers and turned them black.”  
Castiel turned away from Dean but the hunter caught his wrist. He knew that Cas only stopped at the touch because he allowed Dean to stop him.  
“So you’re wings are black.”  
Castiel shook his head.  
“Don’t you understand? The only other angel with black wings is the Devil himself. In their eyes I am not better than Lucifer who every angel wishes to kill. No matter what I do to redeem myself, I will never be accepted ever again.”  
“Well, screw them, Cas!”  
Dean got to his feet.  
“They are dicks, all of them. You’re talking bullshit, you know that? I know I can’t see your wings but I bet they look awesome anyways. Nobody cares if your wings are black or white.”  
He gently turned Castiel’s head so the angel was forced to look at them.  
“I don’t care. I want you with black wings because they are a part of you.”  
Now there were tears shining in Cas’ eyes.  
“Thank you, Dean.”  
The hunter pulled him into a hug.  
“Anytime, angel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that's it. Let me know what you think. Next up is "He didn't mean it."


	4. "He didn't mean it."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam can’t do anything but watch Dean storm out of the house and into the dark. He thinks he can hear a silent sob but that might just be his imagination. John is still standing, staring at the door, face red, breathing heavily. Before Sam can stop himself he’s on his feet shouting at his father.

Sam can’t do anything but watch Dean storm out of the house and into the dark. He thinks he can hear a silent sob but that might just be his imagination. John is still standing, staring at the door, face red, breathing heavily. Before Sam can stop himself he’s on his feet shouting at his father.  
“What the hell is going on with you?”  
“Stay out of it, Sam!”  
“I thought you’re supposed to be our father, not a closed minded sonofabitch!”  
Sam almost never swears.  
“That’s none of your business. Dean’s got to learn to follow orders.”  
He can’t believe what he’s hearing.  
“You’re talking bullshit, Dad! And it is my business because Dean is my brother. So wrap your head around the fact that he’s with a guy because I don’t think he’s going to come back unless you apologize.”

It’s not the first time Sam speaks up against John but it’s the first time he totally means what he says. Every word of it. Sam leaves the house and goes looking for his brother. There are a few places where Dean likes to go when he wants to be alone but being the annoying little brother Sam is, he knows every spot. So it doesn’t take him long to actually find Dean. He’s sitting on a swing, moving back and forth slowly. Sam quietly sits down next to him.  
“He didn’t mean it, you know?”  
Dean snorts.  
“He did, Sammy, believe me.”  
Sam jumps at the bitterness in his brother’s voice.  
“Well, you know he’s a jerk, right?”  
“Thanks for, you know, speaking up and everything. I really appreciate it.”  
Dean’s voice is quiet and hoarse and Sam thinks he’s been crying. They sit in companionable silence for a while, watching the stars like they had done when they were little.  
“He has a point, though.”  
Sam’s heart nearly stops at that.  
“No, he doesn’t!”  
“Listen Sam, what if Cas decides he doesn’t want to be with me anymore? What if one day I wake up and am like hell, Cas is cute and everything but I wish he was a girl, or what if – – ”  
“Shut up!”  
Dean complies but doesn’t meet Sam’s eyes, his gaze firmly locked on his hands in his lap.  
“I don’t wanna hear any of this. Do you love Castiel?”  
Dean nods.  
“Do you wish he was a girl?”  
His brother shakes his head.  
“Are you unsure if Castiel loves you back?”  
“No, not yet.”  
Sam sighs.  
“I know I’m too young for this and everything but the way I see it you’re just insecure because for the first time since you’ve hit puberty you’re head over heels into someone and afraid of losing him. But you know what? It’s bullshit. All of it.”  
“Are you sure?”  
There’s something like hope in Dean’s voice. Sam smiles.  
“I am. Now go and see your boyfriend because if I see you mooning over him for another second I’m going to throw up.”  
Dean smiles sadly.  
“Okay, Sammy. Seeya tomorrow.”  
Sam watches his brother walk away. It doesn’t feel as bad this time.  
“And wear protection!”  
Dean flips him off.

Castiel is lying on his bed trying to figure out if he should text Dean and ask him if he’s alright or if he’s just being overanxious. He’d been a little disappointed when Dean told him he didn’t want him to come with and support him while he talks to his father but he does respect Dean’s choices and told him to call when it’s over. So far there’s been nothing. It’s not that Castiel gets antsy or anything, it’s just… he’s worried.  
There’s a ring at the door but before Castiel can get up he can hear the goofy footsteps of Gabriel as his older brother jumps down the stairs.  
“Hey, little bro, your boytoy is here!”  
Castiel’s never been down the stairs and in the hallway so fast. When he spots Dean and his puffed eyes and red nose he just wraps his arms around him and pulls him close to his chest.  
“That bad?”  
Dean just nods. Castiel strokes his back and is glad that Gabriel doesn’t say anything because even he senses Dean’s emotional instability. Castiel gently leads his boyfriend to the living room and plops down onto the sofa, dragging Dean with him. And although Dean would never admit it Castiel knows that he enjoys cuddling. He rests his chin on Dean’s head and gently rubs small circles on his back.  
“You wanna talk about it?”  
Dean shakes his head.  
“Okay. Just know that if you do want to talk I’m here.”  
Dean nods and stirs until he finds a comfortable position to lie in. He curls himself around Castiel and sighs in content.  
“You wanna watch a movie and eat tons of ice cream?”  
“Sounds like a plan.”  
Dean’s voice is weak. Castiel presses his lips onto his forehead before shouting for his brother.  
“Hey, Gabe, can you get us some ice cream?”  
“Do I look like your maid, Cassie?”  
But Gabriel chuckles and gets some from the fridge anyway. He places it on the table next to Castiel and Dean and winks at his little brother.  
“Just clean up after you’re done.”  
Castiel rolls his eyes.  
“Gabe, you’re gross. Thanks.”  
And Castiel is glad he’s got a brother like Gabriel because even though he sometimes hides Castiel’s boxers and leaves nothing but pink panties he’s still there when Castiel needs him.

Castiel and Dean settle in on a girly romance (Dean’s pick after he’s threatened he’d couch Castiel if he ever told Sam. Or Gabriel. Or anyone.) it doesn’t take long before Castiel can hear Dean’s breathing become steadier. He sofly kisses the tip of his boyfriend’s nose and murmurs, “Love you,” before shutting his eyes as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, leave a comment or kudos or whatever.  
> Next chapter's called "Just trust me."  
> Feel free to leave dialogue suggestions, I'd appreciate that.


	5. "Just trust me."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean radiated temptation. His hair was longer than it had been when they had parted and it didn’t make him less attractive. His green eyes were sparkling with a provocative look, making it hard for Castiel to suppress a groan. And lastly there was his smirk. The left corner of his mouth was barely raised, giving Castiel the impression that he was being played with. Sam had been right. It was a very bad idea. Castiel swallowed heavily.  
> “Hello, angel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! A nice demon!Dean fic. I feel like I maybe want to write some more demon!Dean because, honestly, he's a pretty neat character. Let me know what you think of this chapter.

“For the record, I think this is a very bad idea,” Sam growled and crossed his arms. Castiel sighed.

“I know, Sam, just… trust me with this.”

Sam shook his head.

“Cas, please let me talk you out of this. As much as I hate to say it, he’s going to hurt you.”

“I won’t let him.”  
Castiel squared his shoulders, made sure his angel blade was easy to reach under his trench coat and then nodded in silent self encouragement. Sam reluctantly opened the door of the dungeon and had to watch as his friend locked himself in with the demon that had once been his brother.

Castiel felt more than uneasy. It was eating at him slowly, he could almost feel how the teeth scraped over his vessel’s inner organs. Dean sat on the metal chair, bound by the devil’s trap and the line of salt. His hideous demon face laughed at him with evil eyes and the demon’s presence tore at his angelic grace.

He forced himself to see through the demon, to look at the human underneath, the man he’d long ago fallen in love with.

Dean radiated temptation. His hair was longer than it had been when they had parted and it didn’t make him less attractive. His green eyes were sparkling with a provocative look, making it hard for Castiel to suppress a groan. And lastly there was his smirk. The left corner of his mouth was barely raised, giving Castiel the impression that he was being played with. Sam had been right. It was a very bad idea. Castiel swallowed heavily.

“Hello, angel.”

Dean bit his plump lower lip causing Castiel’s eyes to follow the movement.

“Dean,” he began and forced himself to look into the demon’s eyes.

“Let us help you.”

Dean threw his head back with loud, barking laughter.

“Help me? I don’t need help, feathers. I’m peachy.”

“You’re a demon.”  
“He’s not only pretty but also smart.”

Dean leaned forward as far as his restraints would allow him.

“I _like_ being a demon.”

“You’ve killed innocent people, Dean. The old you would’ve never done that.”

The demon leaned back and glared at Castiel.

“The old me was boring. The old me is dead. He was so far in his closet, I had to drag him out before I was able to kill him. But don’t worry, I’m still him. I just don’t have any boundaries.”

Castiel groaned. He didn’t miss the way Dean’s eyes were sizing him up suggestively. It made him imagine things that were very… sinful.

“Demons lie.”

Dean chuckled. He didn’t seem to be concerned by the devil’s trap. He was relaxed.

“I would never. You see, pretty boy, sometimes it’s so much more fun to tell the truth. It hurts so much more.”  
Castiel actually shivered.

“What do you want?” he asked, glaring at the demon.

“You. My freedom. My brother’s head on a stick. A good slice of pizza.”

Castiel’s mouth went dry.

“You’re not going to kill Sam.”

“Why not? Did you really think your scribbles could hold me? I’m a Knight of Hell, chuckles, I don’t do tea parties.”

Dean’s smile widened as his eyes turned black and Castiel found that he was unable to move. A crack went through the floor, ripping open the lines that should have kept Dean locked inside the circle. With achingly slow motions Dean rose from the metal chair and stretched his limbs, sighing in content.

“You know, it’s nice to have a vessel that’s unoccupied. I’m glad I’m me, actually. There’s no little pathetic human conscience sitting in my head, screaming.”

He frowned for a second as if in thought, then turned to Castiel once again.

“Actually, that means I don’t have anyone nearby to play with.”

The demon stared at him hungrily. Castiel had the odd sensation of needing to get closer to Dean and getting as much space between him and the demon as possible in the same time.

“But now you’re here. And you haven’t moved.”

Dean was now invading Castiel’s personal space. The angel fought the urge to thrust the angel blade deep into the beating heart of his friend.

“You’re not fully charged.”

Dean’s breath ghosted over Castiel’s skin.

“You’re helpless.”

“Dean, don’t – – ”

“You’re _mine_ ,” he whispered before shoving Castiel into the iron wall. The angel tried to regain control over his body but Dean’s grip was fierce.

“You can’t run from me, Castiel. First, I’m gonna have some fun. Then, I’m gonna kill my brother. And then I’m coming back for you.”

“Sam,” Castiel croaked helplessly.

“He can’t hear you. This whole thing is proof of almost everything. If nothing can get out then nothing can get in, either. Admit it, hotshot, you spread yourself too thin on this one.”

“Dean, this isn’t you,” Castiel tried again but the closeness to Dean was intoxitating.

“This is all me, Castiel. Every inch of me is, well, me.”

“We can fix you.”

Dean scoffed.

“Fix me? There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m awesome.”  
Castiel opened his mouth but was silenced by a thumb that lazily trailed his lips. Dean seemed to be lost in that little movement. His tongue darted out to wetten his lips.

“So beautiful,” he whispered, almost reverently.

“So pure.”

“Dean – – ”

The demon made him shut up as he pressed his lips on Castiel’s. His vessel reacted instantly, let Dean in, let him deepen the kiss. He tasted like ash and fire and sin and Castiel felt nausea crawling up his throat. Dean tasted _twisted_ , wrong, evil. Still he missed the demon’s touch when he shoved him away, eyes burning in a bright divine blue. This was not _his_ Dean. This was not the man he’d fallen in love with. With a swift motion Castiel grabbed Dean’s shoulders and slammed him into the metal.

“You’re going to listen to me, Dean Winchester,” he growled. “And you’re going to do as I say.”

Dean smirked.

“I like it when you take control like that.”

“Put a bridle on your tongue, demon.”

Castiel took out the syringe he’d been holding and injected the blood into the demon’s veines. When Dean sunk down to the floor Castiel exhaled in relief, letting Sam come in and together they strapped their friend and brother back to the chair, reinforcing the devil’s traps.

It was a painful procedure. Most times Castiel could hear Dean scream inside the room but he prohibited himself from going into the dungeon. He wouldn’t be able to look into those dark eyes. Castiel knew that it wasn’t fair to let Sam treat Dean with everything the demon had threatened to do to him but he wasn‘t sure he could resist the demon’s pleading. He would probably let him go.

Sam entered the room and shot an exhausted glance at the angel.

“That’s the last one. Now we can just wait and hope.”

Castiel nodded. Dean’s body had been able to cope with the treatment. Other people had died during the process but it seemed that Dean would make it. Castiel sighed and stood up.

“I’m gonna see if he’s doing alright.”

It was painfully quiet in the dungeon. Castiel opened the door and stepped into the devil’s trap. Dean was unconscious, only held up by the ropes binding him to the chair.

“I’m sorry, Dean,” Castiel muttered.

The hunter stirred. Dean opened his eyes and blinked into the light.

“Cas?”

Relief flooded Castiel’s senses.

“Dean, are you alright?”

He frowned in confusion.

“Why am I tied to a chair?”

“You don’t remember anything?”  
Dean shook his head. Castiel was glad but there was also a little bit disappointment. After all, he’d still hoped Dean would reciprocate his feelings. Castiel splashed holy water over Dean’s face and when his skin didn’t start burning he cut his friend lose.

“Seriously, Cas, you’re scaring me, what happened?”

“Let’s get back to Sam and we’ll tell you what you need to know.”  
Castiel didn’t talk a lot after that. He noticed the worried glances Dean shot him but he mostly ignored them. Dean was back and that was great. It was time to lock his feelings back into his heart and make sure they never touched the surface again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter. The next prompt is “Are you happy now? HUH? DOES THIS MAKE YOU HAPPY?”  
> Like always, if you have any ideas or prompts, suggest them and I'll do my best to write a oneshot out of them.
> 
> I've also written a Fic around Castiel and Dean in the crypt scene of 08.17 "Goodbye Stranger" called [Forgiven](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27439642) . Feel free to check it out.


	6. “Are you happy now? HUH? DOES THIS MAKE YOU HAPPY?”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel and Dean are smiling brightly at the camera, hands intertwined, Dean wearing a dark tee with a stitched-on bee, Cas wearing Dean’s Led Zeppelin hoodie. It’s one of Dean’s favorite pictures of them. Cas looks so happy, leaning into Dean’s side, a small blush reddening his cheeks. Dean quietly runs a finger down the glass before smashing it to the ground in one swift motion. The glass shatters into a million pieces. He smiles in grim satisfaction. _Take that, you sonofabitch!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this one's a little different from what I've written before, let me know if that was okay or not...

“I don’t know, okay? I have no idea!”

Dean doesn’t listen to his brother on the phone because right now his priority is to not freak out. He normally isn’t a person who goes crazy easily. But he’s got every right to freak out because he’s never been rejected like that ever before. Dean tries to swallow the lump in his throat that has been there ever since Cas left the apartment.

“ _I don’t. I gotta go.”_

_Cold, blue eyes. A sharp pain inside his heart. A weak, drained “Cas...”._

Sam is still talking but Dean doesn’t know what about.

“ _And we would be happy to still see you there.”_

“Euh… what?”  
There is a sigh on the other end.

“ _My wedding, Dean? You’re still coming, right?”_

“Of course, Samsquatch. Gotta make your bride regret her choices.”

Dean smiles. Eileen is a good girl and she and Sam are so in love, it’s almost disgusting.

“I’ll be there.”

“ _I’m sorry, Dean. I really am.”_

“Yeah, whatever. I’m fine, okay?”

“ _No you’re not.”_

Dean pinches the bridge if his nose and exhales.

“You’re right. I’m not.”

“ _Do you want to talk about it?”_

“No.”

“ _Dean…”_

“Don’t, Sam. I don’t wanna hear it.”

His brother sighs and Dean can almost see how Sam’s eyes would have this look in them. The one where he practically radiates pity.

“Look, I gotta work, so, seeya in a week.”

“ _Okay. Don’t do anything stupid.”_

“You know me!”

“ _That’s why I’m saying it.”_

“Bitch.”

“ _Jerk.”_

Dean shuts his phone and throws it against the wall.

There are several ways to cope with a break up. Dean doesn’t feel like sex, mostly because no girl or guy would be Cas and that makes his heartache even worse. He settles in on a western movie but his thoughts keep wandering. So, he drinks. He doesn’t really care what he’s drinking, the only criteria being a high level of intoxication and lots of it. He would deal with the hangover several days later. At least that are his plans.

xxx

Castiel tries not to cry. He really does. But he’s never broken anyone’s heart before. And he’s never felt his own heart breaking in the same way. Slowly, he walks through the streets, letting the rain wet him to the bone. It just contributes to his mood. His plan is to endure his family’s proud smiles and then lock himself into his room and cry his eyes out. The Novaks will be gone in a month. He’s got to avoid Dean only for another four weeks and then, maybe, it’s going to become better.

Chuck, Michael and Raphael are waiting for him in the kitchen when Castiel comes home. They seem to know how it ended. Not that there has been any other way.

“We are proud of you, Castiel. You’ve done good.”

“I’ve done good? Do I look like I feel good?”

Tears are flowing down his cheeks.

Chuck awkwardly pats his back trying to soothe him.

“You’ll be alright. You’re going to forget him, soon.”

It doesn’t have the desired effect.

“Am I? You just forced me to break his heart! I hate myself! I hurt the man I care about more than I care about myself. So how can you say I’m going to be alright?”

“We told you not to get attached.”

Michael stares him down, the coldness in his eyes making Castiel flinch.

“Yeah, you did,” he mutters bitterly, trying to get his crying under control.

“Deal with the consequences.”

“Yeah, I will.”

Castiel just hates himself a little more for that sentence.

xxx

Castiel and Dean are smiling brightly at the camera, hands intertwined, Dean wearing a dark tee with a stitched-on bee, Cas wearing Dean’s Led Zeppelin hoodie. It’s one of Dean’s favorite pictures of them. Cas looks so happy, leaning into Dean’s side, a small blush reddening his cheeks. Sam took it two months ago when they had been freshly together. Dean quietly runs a finger down the glass before smashing it to the ground in one swift motion. The glass shatters into a million pieces. He smiles in grim satisfaction. _Take that, you sonofabitch!_

xxx

Castiel doesn’t come out of his room for weeks, only works from home, leaving the room just to use the bathroom or steal something to eat from the kitchen when the others are asleep. Secretly he’s been looking for a new apartment away from his family. Yes, they are in the process of moving away anyway, but he’s decided not to stay with them. Castiel knows that especially his father and oldest brothers will have a problem with his decision but he’s too far gone to care. His eyes hurt from crying and he feels down all the time. The only interaction he ever has with his family begins with Chuck knocking on his door.

“Castiel, I’m sorry but – –”

“Are you happy now? HUH? DOES THIS MAKE YOU HAPPY?” Castiel screams and smashes the door shut in front of his father. There’s no more talking from then on.

xxx

The moment Dean arrives at Sam and Eileen’s, he’s the happy older brother he’s supposed to be. He does his duty as Sam’s best man, even holds a speech, makes sure the married couple gets drunk and tries to have fun although the black hole in his heart is still sucking in all good emotions. He’s happy for his brother and Eileen. Dean actually tries to have fun on their wedding. He really does. It’s not his fault that all the couples tend to snog directly under his nose. Dean decides to get a little more drunk and pretend like his heart doesn’t ache more for Castiel with every second that passes. People asking him about the “handsome young man” doesn’t really help.

Dean decides to move. Away from the city where he met Cas. Away from the memories. Away from the pain. It takes him only a week to move to Texas.

xxx

Castiel’s heart is pounding wildly in his chest as he knocks at Dean’s door once more. He can do this. He can stand here and tell the love of his life that he screwed up and is going to stay if he’d still want him. He can do this. He’s stood here a hundred times, knocking on the door, waiting for Dean to open. But nothing happens. Maybe Dean’s out. Castiel sits down on the door step and waits. People come and go. After an hour an old lady opens her apartment door and smiles at him sympathetically.

“He’s not coming back, you know. I’m sorry, dear, but you’ve just missed him.”

xxx

“ _I’ll be expecting you on our anniversary.”_

“Sure thing. You want me to bring that waffle iron again?”

“ _Shut your face!”_

“You know Eileen _loves_ waffles.”

“ _Stop it, Jerk!”_

“Bitch. I’ll arrive at noon.”

“ _We’ll arrange the guest room.”_

“Alright, see you.”

There’s a little smile playing on Dean’s face. Ten years. Sammy’s been married for ten years now. Dean’s a proud uncle. Just think about it! He doesn’t try to keep that smile from his face. His niece and nephew are the best kids in Kansas and although it’s a long drive from Dallas to Lawrence he’s been going up there every now and then to visit his brother’s family. It won’t be different now.

He doesn’t expect the visitor when he comes back from work. There’s an old, rundown punkass car standing in front of his garage. Dean cuts out the engine and walks to his front door. A man is standing beneath the canopy, seeking safety from the burning Texan sun. He’s wearing a trench coat, oblivious to the heat, seeming oddly familiar. Then the man turns around and Dean stops breathing.

xxx

Ten years. Castiel has been looking for Dean for ten years. He’s been writing novels and books and become a best seller, he’s been travelling around the US, always looking for a man with brown hair, green eyes and freckles around the nose, named Dean Winchester. After ten years of looking and searching, of finding hope just to find people who are similar to Dean, he‘s finally found him. Two times Castiel was about to blow it all off. To become a hermit, write his stories and live until one day the Grim Reaper might come for him. But here he is. After ten years he’s standing on the front porch of the house belonging to the man he’s fallen in love with so long ago. Castiel can hear the familiar roar of the Impala. After ten years he’s still kept it. He slowly turns around, a tiny smile on his lips.

“Hello, Dean.”

xxx

There he is, the sonofabitch that won’t leave his thoughts. Ten years haven’t been enough to wipe his memories from Dean’s mind. He stands in awe, watching, as deep blue eyes begin to sparkle as they lock with green ones.

“Hey, Cas.”

Castiel still looks beautiful, even after ten years.

“I’ve come to apologize.”

And maybe, Dean thinks, maybe broken hearts can be put back together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you been following the whole Spanish Destiel canon thing? It's really hard to ignore even when you haven't watched Season 15 yet (like me...). What's your opinion? Should the CW give a statement on what has happened and why?
> 
> That's it for today. Next chapter will be called "Your hair is really soft after you wash it.”


	7. "Your hair is really soft after you wash it."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing more. Dean doesn’t enjoy Castiel stroking through his now almost dry hair. He really doesn’t. He also doesn’t think about what it would be like if Cas would do that more often. On movie nights. In bed. At the kitchen table just to annoy Sam. He must smile at that.

Dean can hear the blood rushing through him, filling him with life, adrenaline making his senses clearer. He‘s fast, he’s dangerous and he’s euphoric about it. His arm describes a deadly circle, the blade cutting through air before hitting white flesh, blood splattering, covering him. He’s a predator, and the vamp is his victim. He stares down at the body, the bloodsucker’s head separated from the torso.

Way to soon the rush eases. He’s covered in blood, at some point a vamp must have bitten him because his shoulder burns like fire. He shrugs it off. Still panting he turns around to take a look at Castiel. The ex-angel seems to be fine, there’s a body lying behind him. He doesn’t seem to be injured too severely.

“Good one, Cas. I toldya you’d be good once we started training.”

There’s an alarmed look on Cas’ face and he shouts something at Dean but he doesn’t hear it because there’s a sharp pain at his head and then the ground is coming closer, turning everything black.

When he wakes up he’s strapped to a chair unable to move. His head hurts like a bitch and his shoulder is throbbing. Dean groans into the gag that’s keeping him from speaking. There’s a movement in the corner of his eye and then a woman steps into view. Blood covers her mouth area, teeth sharp and deadly. When she notices Dean’s awake she smiles widely.

“Look who’s awake.”  
She saunters closer, the machete Dean must have dropped swinging by her side. She removes the cloth from his mouth.

“What do you want, bitch?”

She growls.

“You killed my nest.”

“That’s the job.”

Her hand hits him before he can even realize it’s moved.

“I want you dead. But not before you feel the pain that I’ve felt.”

She walks away from Dean and crouches down at one of the bodies.

“This was Neil. He always cared for me. He brought me sweet blood. You don’t know what it’s like to not be able to leave the house. I would’ve died but he… he helped me. Loved me.”

She spins around and then the machete is only an inch from Dean’s throat.

“Where is that cutie you brought with you?”

Dean blinks.

“What?”

“Your man. Where is he? He’s hiding. I want to know where.”

So Cas is not dead. That’s good, Dean thinks. Very good. Now he only needs to get out of this situation. His wrists hurt from the rope that’s cutting into the skin. She’s taken his knives. All of them. Dean tries not to groan in frustration.

“Talk.”

She hits him again. That is really not good for his head. Dean spits out some blood and smiles up at her.

“Lady, I have no idea. You knocked me out, remember?”

She is angry now. Maybe she does something stupid so Dean has a chance. She doesn’t.

She grabs his hair and yanks his head up.

“Then you’re not important for me.”

She digs her teeth into the bite mark on his shoulder. Pain explodes as the wound tears open once again. He doesn’t know if he screams or not but after some moments the pain eases into a throb and he becomes tired. His eyes become heavy, so heavy and all he wants to do is fall asleep.

Something pulls the vamp away from him. There’s a thud and a dead body hits the ground. Dean  squints into the direction of the shadow coming closer. The image becomes a little clearer. The guy is talking, calling.

“Dean?”

It’s Cas. Of course it’s Cas. He cuts the ropes open and helps Dean off the chair, handing him a piece of cloth to put over his wound.

“You’re late,” Dean mutters.

“Well, I thought she would keep you alive for longer. I didn’t know she would bite you, not after she promised to kill me first.”

Cas grabs Dean around the waist and supports him outside the building and into the car.

“Wait,” Dean slurs.

“Destroy the evidence.”

Cas nods and once Dean is seated savely in the Impala he goes back. Moments later the building catches fire. Cas calls Sam to let him know they are on their way back to the bunker and slides onto the seat behind the wheel.

“I’m not going to argue with you, Dean. You sit. I drive.”

Dean is too tired to protest so that’s how Cas got to drive the Impala for the first time.

By the time they reach Lebanon, Dean is better. Not fine, he’s lost a lot of blood, his head feels like it’s about to explode but he isn’t so tired anymore and can stand and walk on his own.

Sam is waiting for them when they enter the bunker and meets Dean in a crushing hug that makes the older brother jump.

“You idiot. You could’ve died.”

“I didn’t.”

“You alright?”

Dean smiles.

“Never been better.”

Sam pats his back and Dean flinches.

“I will tend to his wounds,” Castiel reassures him. Sam shoots Dean a questioning look.

“It’s okay, Sammy, you don’t need to stand by, Cas is very able to do the job.”

He doesn’t need another pair of concerned eyes on him. Sam sighs.

“You sure?”

“Yes, Sam, I’m sure, now go and read a book or watch Doctor Who or whatever.”

When Dean gets out of the shower he still feels like he’s been run over by a truck but at least he’s clean. He sits down on his bed  only clad in his pajama pants and watches as Cas enters his room with the first-aid kit. His eyes travel over Dean’s naked torso  causing Dean to blush  before reaching the ugly bite on his shoulder. His hands are warm and gentle but Dean still has to hiss while Cas patches him up. It’s quiet because Cas is concentrating on not hurting Dean and Dean doesn’t know what to say because of course his thoughts are circling around the kiss. But the silence is thick and almost painful.

“Thanks man,” he says just to break the silence. “You did good today. Killed two vampires. Saved me.”

“You’re welcome,” Cas replies and secures the last band-aid.

“Let me see your head injury.”

“I’m fine.”

“Dean.”

Dean sighs and motions for Cas to sit on his bed while he scoots forward.

“I’m sorry.”

Dean furrows his brow.

“For what?”

Two fingers reach around his head and touch his forehead.

“Not long ago I could’ve healed you.”

Cas’ breath is warm against Dean’s neck. He wonders if Cas has been thinking about the kiss the way Dean’s been replaying it over and over in his head.

“Don’t be sorry. I managed before I knew you, I’ll be able to manage now.”

Cas doesn’t answer but continues to carefully touch the back of Dean’s head where the vamp knocked him out.

“Sonofabitch!”

Apparently he found the injury.

“You are lucky, Dean. It’s not severe.”

Nothing more. Dean doesn’t enjoy Castiel stroking through his now almost dry hair. He really doesn’t. He also doesn’t think about what it would be like if Cas would do that more often. On movie nights. In bed. At the kitchen table just to annoy Sam. He must smile at that.

A quiet hum brings him back into reality.

“Your hair is really soft after you wash it.”

“What?”

“I said,” Cas repeats, “your hair is really soft after you wash it.”

“That so?”

Cas hums in agreement, absentmindedly running his fingers through Dean’s strands. Dean doesn’t want him to stop. But his back aches from sitting like this and he needs to get some rest so he gets up. The fingers disappear from his head.

“I’m sorry, Dean, I shouldn’t have...”

“It’s alright, Cas. I’m just tired and need to get some shut-eye.”

Cas stands, too.

“I understand. Have a good night.”

He is on his way out of Dean’s room when Dean’s body speaks without his consent.

“You… could join me.”

Cas stops and looks at Dean.

“If you want, that is. I mean, I don’t want to force this on you but I’ve been thinking about all of this and I would really like that and if you don’t want to I really understand, it’s just that I can’t get you out of my head and...” Dean stumbles over his own words.

“Yes, Dean.”

Dean exhales a breath he doesn’t know he’s been holding and crawls under the blanket, holding open invitingly. Cas gets out of his shirt and pants and slips under it, skin to skin with Dean. He doesn’t shiver at the touch. He really doesn’t.

“I’ve thought about the kiss as well, Dean. I too want it to happen again.”

Dean freezes.

“You do?”  
He turns to look Cas in the eye.

“That’s what I said.”

A smile splits Dean’s face.

“I think we can arrange that. Spoon?”

Cas huddles closer to Dean and puts his arms around him, hiding his head in Dean’s neck.

“If you tell Sam any of this I’m going to kill you,” Dean grumbles but relaxes into the hug. They lie quietly in the dark until Dean says, “So, my hair is soft?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up is "We were supposed to leave like ten minutes ago."
> 
> I very much appreciate suggestions, so feel free to leave one.


End file.
